


Daniel’s Dilemma

by Topazowlet



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: First Person Narrative, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 04:05:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3104981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Topazowlet/pseuds/Topazowlet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daniel sneaks off-world with SG3 and makes a startling discovery that could mean the end of the human race. What does he do?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Daniel’s Dilemma

“You’ll love it there, Dr Jackson”, they said, “So many ruins and so much to interpret.”  
“Why not?” I thought. With Sam at Area 51, Teal'c on Chulak and Mitchell away with Amy, I’d get a bit of peace from Vala. I knew Jack would go nuts if he found out, but SG3 were one of the top teams, what could go wrong?  
What indeed? So, here I am, sat in a pitch black cube that appears to be about 12 foot square, with a sprained ankle, what feels like a couple of cracked ribs and having been out of it, I think, for more than just a few seconds – I’ve got a massive bump on the back of my head and the room’s going round.  
Seems I have plenty of time to think about what went wrong.  
Last thing I remember was trying to read some runes on the east wall of the temple. They were slightly raised; I think I must have touched something that set off some mechanism and the floor disappeared, throwing me down this hole. Well, that’s all I can surmise, presuming that gravity has taken me to the bottom of the cube and that I’m not in one of those “rooms” like the one Ba’al kept Jack in.  
I can hear nothing and see nothing. There can be no light getting in at all. I wonder what SG3 are doing now? There will be mass panic – if General Jack O’Neill gets to hear that his pet archaeologist has disappeared, I don’t rate their chances! And, hey, when did I start referring to myself as Jack’s pet archaeologist? Don’t tell me that bump on the head is sending me nuts already!  
I wonder if they’ve tried the C4 yet. I’ve not heard anything. When the room stops spinning, I’ll get up and see what I can find. For all I know, I could be in a tunnel but there is very little echo when I shout so I think it unlikely. I must get up. Jack and Mitchell would be shouting at me by now – it would be “Dammit, Daniel” or “Get up, Jackson”. Teal’c would look concerned; “Are you well, Daniel Jackson?” I know he’s called me that for 10 years now but just once, it would be nice to be called just Daniel. Sam would be checking me over, making sure I had no broken bones and I would probably squeal as she poked my chest, as I just have – yes, I have definitely cracked at least one rib, again.  
Right, Daniel, it’s time you got up and started sorting yourself out. “Oww, that hurts”. I put my weight on my left leg and decide it’s not quite ready to take my 180 lbs yet. I go back to my knees and crawl slowly till I reach a wall. The floor has been basically smoothed, with a scattering of stones that may have come down with me. I know because I have a very nasty bruise on my right knee from kneeling on one. Once at the wall, I stand up and hobble to the left for what seems about 6 foot and I reach a corner. I do this until I have discovered that I was right and I’m in a square room about 12 by 12 and about the same height, judging by the state of me after I fell.  
A wave of fear and loneliness hits me and I slide to the floor, hugging my knees and resting my head on them. I briefly wonder where my glasses have gone. I try not to think about the fact that I may not get out of here but I can’t help worrying – this darkness is so oppressive. I suddenly remember my watch which has a light but it’s smashed, I think – well the light doesn’t work, anyway.  
Now, come on Daniel, there has got to be away out of here – maybe my transmitter will allow someone to beam me out. Mind you, if this is Naquadah, and I am fast coming round to that idea, I can’t see that happening.  
I decide to systematically walk round the room, feeling for indentations or raises, anything that might operate the mechanism that put me in this situation. So, in my usual precise way, I start, moving left, sweeping my hands up and down as much wall as I can reach. Being 6 ft, that’s about 7’6” up, I would imagine. I jump every so often but nothing changes in the smoothness of the wall.  
I think I’ve been round twice now and nothing. I’m tired, frustrated, more than a little worried and have developed a humdinger of a headache. As I slide to the floor once again, it occurs to me that there may only be a finite amount of oxygen in here – that would account for the bad head!  
I can feel myself slipping into despair. I’ve been in similar situations before but I’ve always known that SG1 would rescue me – this time, they don’t even know I’m off world. I even snuck off without telling Vala which, now I think about it, was a rotten thing to do. She’ll be worried sick and if I’d brought her with me, at least I might have had company in this despicable place. I wonder what she’s doing now. Has she hassled General Landry to let her come through the Stargate? Has she rung Jack and told him? I hope so because at least I can imagine that the others are planet side, searching for a way in.  
This would be a horrible way to go – I think I’d rather have a staff blast or the Ori plague than this. I wonder if Oma Desala can get through Naquadah. Do I really think they’d give me a third chance of ascension?  
I want Vala. For all her annoying, petty, flirtatious and enigmatic ways, I miss her. Just at this moment, I would give anything to have her proposition me and I’m pretty sure I’d go with the flow today. I don’t really know why I have fought her for so long. I must be nuts! She’s a beautiful, intelligent, talented woman, not to mention a body to die for and, although I know I’ve given her plenty of help and support, I haven’t really let her in and I could have. It’s a long time since Sha’re died and I could have tried; I could have taken the chance. In fact, when I get out of here, and notice I say when, not if, I’ll take her out on a proper date, none of this two colleagues and co-workers going out for a pleasant evening and I will try to relax and ‘go with the flow’ as they say. That’s it, when I get out of here, the new Dr Daniel Jackson will emerge, romeo extraordinaire!  
There's also someone else nagging at the back of my mind ... Jack. My best friend for 10 years, even if it was more off than on for a while. And his image comes to the fore, blanking Vala from my mine. Jack and I have always had a connection, even when he thought I was a hopeless geek and I thought he was a bully of a colonel. He's the one I always ask for, whose name I cry out when I'm in the infirmary. He's the one I go to with problems, with heartache and pain, with good and bad news and when I just want to talk. Suddenly, it's Jack I want here, not Vala and the fact that that is so unlikely almost brings on the tears.  
Then I realise I might not get out and the tears flow thick and fast. I need to see Jack before I die, again.  
That sobers me up. I am trying not to be too depressed about my situation but it’s hard. Sat here for what, 3 hours, in the pitch black with only the sound of my own breathing or my voice if I talk, I’m beginning to feel desolate. I can hear Jack’s voice in my head again – “Dammit Daniel, get your ass into gear, there’s got to be a way out” and “What the hell do you think you are doing, going off-world without a word!” I am in soooo much trouble!  
Right, Dr Jackson, do something! I stand up and spend the next half hour going round the walls again, then sink back down in a different corner, thoroughly depressed now. I shift slightly as the floor seems rough and uncomfortable. I can’t get settled anywhere. I start to get up to move but, although my mind is very sluggish now, something registers that this corner is different. I get on my hands and knees and feel up the floor.  
There’s a shape, slightly raised, and when I say slightly, I mean very slightly, a mm or less. It’s circular, about 10” in diameter and there are some raised glyphs of some kind on the surface – they were what was making it uncomfortable to sit on. I trace them with my fingers in the hope of getting a picture in my mind of their shape but I don’t recognise them. I start on the rim of the disc but can hardly get a fingernail in the gap; however, there is a slight give in it.  
I wish I could think straight. I wonder how long it will take to die of asphyxiation down here; I’m not sure I’ve got a huge amount of time. I stand up, noting that my left leg is taking its fair share of my weight now. I’ve had an idea and start collecting as many stones and rocks as I can, piling them near the disc. It’s hard, working in the dark in less than ideal amounts of oxygen but I have quite a substantial pile now. I kneel back down and start working small pebbles under the disc. It’s extremely frustrating and very, very slow going but I finally feel a slight give in the disc. This leads me to rush the next few pebbles and, all of a sudden, I’m almost back at square one. I sink back on my heels, turn round to lean back on the wall and a tear trickles down my cheek. Jack says I am resolute, stubbornly determined and a real pain in the mikta when I want something, so what am I doing, giving up so quickly? I allow myself brief respite, I can’t help crying a little inside, then I start again.  
I don’t know how long it takes me but, at last, I can get small stones under the rim. My fingers won’t fit yet, but they will do – I still have plenty of stones. I am hoping, once I can get my fingers underneath the disc, that it will turn and open a hole in the ceiling. How I will get up there if there is no-one about, I don’t know but I try not to think about that. SG1 should be there by now. Vala will have got them back and organised! I hope I am not being too positive here; I am relying on her.  
It takes me at least another hour until I can get my fingers under the rim. By now they are badly scraped and bleeding because I was so impatient but I can now get hold of the rim. I hold my breath and turn the disc.  
Nothing happens at first, then a creak. However, the springing mechanism must be so old that it is stiff and immediately goes back into place. I try again and again until sweat is pouring off me, then, screaming in despair, I sit down, resisting the temptation to have a tantrum – that will just use up more air.  
I rest. My mind wanders. I start to imagine I can hear Vala calling my name. If I look really hard into the blackness, I can imagine her stood there, looking far too good in those BDU’s that can’t possibly be standard issue the way they hug those curves, hair in those ridiculous pigtails. I reach out to pull one then realise that I am suffering delusions. Behind her is Jack and I don't know who I want to see most. A moan escapes me as I imagine pulling her onto my lap and kissing her thoroughly, her arms tight around my neck, genuine and loving. Then, in my imagination, she morphs into Jack and I lean back against the wall, wondering what is happening to me and my delusions - Jack, in my arms, kissing me? Well, that's a new one.  
“Neither is not going to happen unless you get out of here,” I say out loud. I pull myself together and turn back to the disc. My pile of stones has diminished considerably and I finish it off before attempting to turn the disc. This time, I get hold of the disc, take a solid stance and heave with all my strength.  
“Whoa!” Light shines down on me and I nearly let go of the disc. My knees shake and the muscles in my arms are screaming. Then I’m screaming “Help! Is anybody there? It’s Daniel!”  
Vala’s head appears in the gap and tears are pouring down her face. I am vaguely aware of her shouting and suddenly Teal’c appears with a huge metal rod in his hand. I turn the disc further and he slots the metal rod between the opening’s edge and the rest of floor above me. Someone shouts “Let go, Daniel.” I do and, besides some rather ominous creaking, the gap stays open. By now, I have sunk to my knees, I think I am shaking and I have really hurt my ribs, straining to turn the disc. Vala is shouting at me to look up and she wants to know if I am alright.  
“What do you think, woman?” I mutter before looking up, hoping that I can reassure her. My headache is receding, that’s one good thing, as more air is circulating and has a much better quality. I suck oxygen in, now realising how starved of it I had become.  
A rope appears at my level and Vala is suddenly by my side, hugging and kissing me. Bemused, I hold her at arm’s length. “What are you doing down here?” She just sobs and hugs me again, mumbling under her breath about idiot’s who go off-world without telling anyone and without appropriate backup. I just hold her and concentrate on not shaking too much.  
I am vaguely aware of other voices, telling us to get a move on. A rope ladder has appeared and I try to extricate myself from Vala and push her towards the ladder, urging her to climb. She does so reluctantly. Constantly looking back at me for reassurance, I promise I can and will climb out as soon as she has reached the top – I assure her I don’t want to stay down here any longer!  
I hate the sound of the straining metal above as I start to climb but I can’t go any faster due to my ribs which are screaming anyway. I am aware of shouting, voices urging me to go faster as I near the top; Teal’c grabs me as the metal fails and my feet just clear the gap as the thick rod shoots into the air and the hole closes. I throw myself on top of Vala to protect her then scream again as the metal lands on the back of my lower left leg. We all heard the bones break.  
I think I must have passed out after the metal hit me.  
The next thing I know is that I have been turned over, my head is in Vala’s lap and someone is splinting my leg. I think about raising my head to see who it is but decide I’m too comfortable, enjoying her stroking my hair. So I stay still, thanking Janet Fraiser for her wonderful development of inflatable field splints. That makes me feel sad. Janet, the Chief Medical Officer a few years ago, was killed off world 4 years ago in a skirmish with Jaffa. I still miss her, we all do, she was like the member of SG1 who stayed on base, waiting to fix us up when we came home.  
The next few hours pass in a blur. I am aware of Vala’s presence most of the time and I know that Teal’c is nearby. The journey back to the ‘gate is not comfortable and eventually I give in and ask for morphine; I hate what it does to me but can’t stand the pain anymore as I am constantly being jolted around. I want to get off the stretcher and dial the gate myself when we reach it. I suppose that’s a security thing – I usually dial home – but Vala won’t let me and I am hurting too much to argue.  
Then we are going through the wormhole, I am being demolecularised and then we are home. Carolyn is there waiting with General Landry and looming behind is Jack. I’m in big trouble now. I lift my head to look at them and pass out from the pain.  
If I could have a dollar for every time I woke up in the infirmary, I would be able to take all of SG1, past and present, to O’Malley’s for the biggest steaks possible and still have enough money for taxis home and breakfast the following morning. I am vaguely aware that I am surrounded and try to resist opening my eyes but Jack has spotted the change in my breathing pattern and I hear him whisper “Come on Danny-boy, open up those baby blues, we know you’re awake.”  
I peek out of my left eye but the brightness of the infirmary lights has always been too much for me when I first awake and I screw both of my eyes up. I know I’m in for an almighty tongue lashing at some point and don’t really feel up to it yet. Someone has been holding my left hand and is now squeezing it, hard. I try to pull away but they won’t let go – I bet it’s Vala and I risk a peek.  
“Hey,” I say weakly and she smiles and tells me how worried they all were. She leans over to kiss my forehead and I grimace as she leans on my left side, my ribs uncomfortable. Jack has taken my other hand and is muttering about worrying, idiot Spacemonkey’s and grey hairs.  
I know that they will be angry, that they will have a go at me eventually but they just seem to be relieved that I am back, safe if not sound. I feel Vala let go of my hand and through half closed lids, see her move away. This is followed by raised voices and I hear Goa’uld Hand Device mentioned – she wants to use the healing device on me. Well, this is one time when I wouldn’t say no; I am fed up with having cracked ribs and the associated breathing difficulties.  
Uh oh, Jack’s talking again, urging me to wake up properly and look at him. I reluctantly open my eyes and try to smile; he glares at me asking me how many times he has told me not to go off world without SG1. I mumble something to the effect that it wasn’t Colonel Reynolds and SG3’s fault. He goes on a bit about how everyone else was worried, never saying that he was but I know better. I decide to stop this with a weak “Jack?” and he stops, mid sentence and looks askance. I smile again, weakly and try to sit up. Jack is there, raising the bed and holding on to me as he moves it into a more upright position, asking me how I feel. Rotten, if I am honest but my stock answer, “I’m fine,” leaves my lips before I think. He mumbles something that sounds like “I doubt it” but sits back down and stares me out. I’m very glad that Vala returns just then, Goa’uld Healing Device in her hand.  
Jack expresses his surprise as she looks at me with far too much sympathy. I turn my head away. Suddenly, I don’t want her to see me like this. I know that she is going to be giving me a lot of her strength as she uses the device. I remember how it drained her on P8X-412 trying to cure the natives of the Ori plague. She doesn’t say anything, just clasps the device and holds it over my chest. I feel that now familiar warmth as my ribs start to heal. It’s not unpleasant but it always brings back memories of my sarcophagus addiction; the tingle is exactly the same.  
Vala moves down to my left leg which is still strapped up. Jack is removing the encumbrance and the tingles wash over my lower appendage. They are amazing pieces of technology, these healing devices. Sam has been working on one, on and off for, oh, at least 4 or 5 years I should think and she still can’t understand the physics behind it even though she can make it work too. Seems you need Naquadah in your blood to be able to direct the energy and she has some, remaining from the time she was joined with Jolinar, a Tok’ra. I’ve never been a host, thank goodness, so I can’t use it, even though I have been ‘used’ by a Goa’uld. Yuk, what a time to remember Hathor! I was her “beloved” for a short time, years ago, and she had her wicked way with me; I still shiver in loathing when I think of that vat, full of symbiotes, young Goa’uld, all with my DNA. Revolting!  
I think Vala is finishing up and I do feel better. Not up to a tongue lashing though and I can see Jack gearing up to one, right now but, before he gets a chance, Dr Lam comes in, demanding that they both leave so that she can check me over after the use of the healing device. She gives me the all clear and I wonder if Thor could beam me out of the infirmary and back home, right now!  
No such luck and I can see both Jack and Vala waiting for me. Oh, and Sam and Teal’c are there too. Wonder if Mitchell knows all about this – oh yes, there he is, jumping about like a hyperactive monkey. Oh well. Better go face the music.  
I get dragged off to the commissary immediately and I have to admit I am starving. Jack pushes me, not so gently, into a seat at our usual table; Vala appears and the aroma of coffee wafts my way but she won’t let me have it until I promise not to go off-world again without telling her. A huge plate of meatloaf and French Fries appears in front of me, along with some chocolate confection and a load of jell-o. I truly think it might be time to admit that I really don’t like jell-o all that much!  
I tuck into my meatloaf then realise that, despite being surrounded by five people, no-one is talking. I look up.  
“What?” I say, “I haven’t eaten for hours!” and I shovel more in, famished. They let me eat my entree but Jack grabs the chocolate goo with an “Ahht!” I can see I’m not going to get my dessert without answering questions or surviving a tongue lashing. “Jack?” I ask for my sweet back and we get into a Jack, Daniel routine where we both can say so much with that little word, our names.  
Then he gets out the big guns and starts berating me for going off world without proper supervision. I try to protest that I am not a child, that General Landry knew I was going and that Colonel Reynolds is not a halfwit and is, in fact, a highly decorated member of the SGC. None of this wears with Jack. I am his pet archaeologist, despite my aversion to that concept and he sees it as one of his goals in life to safeguard me from all ills, and that does include protecting me from myself sometimes! And he is my best friend. I am grateful that he cares about me but did he have to do this in the commissary, in front of my team and half the base – word gets round quickly and more people seem to be coming in just for coffee and the spectacle that is unfolding at our table.  
I bite my lip – no point in adding to the show. I play the part of the downtrodden friend, eyes lowered, arms around my torso, nodding every so often but I happen to glance up and catch Sam’s eye and she is grinning; I can just imagine her thinking that Jack is in full ‘Mother Hen’ mode and I find it difficult not to laugh out loud. I have tuned Jack out but it suddenly goes deathly quiet so I look up and say “But there is something to be learned on the wall, Jack.” This sets him off again until Sam quietly puts a hand on his arm and the tirade peters out. He stands, giving me that look that tells me he hasn’t finished with me yet. He then announces that Sam is hosting a barbeque tonight and that we will all be there. We all nod and Jack strides off with as much dignity as he can muster; the others hope that I am OK but drift off, leaving Vala and I sat at opposite ends of the table.  
She smiles, gets up and worms her way onto my lap, professing that she was so worried and asking why I went off without telling her. That annoyance factor is back as she bats her eyelids and curls her fingers around my hair. Can she never stop flirting with me and just be herself? I push her off and stand, making excuses as usual and leaving her stood by the table, mouth aghast. I know I can be horrible to her; I know I should have more patience but she drives me batty with her sexy innuendoes and persistent flirting.  
I head to my office and I am aware that she is following me. My intentions are to review what little video footage I took and make a case for going back to the planet. I am pretty sure that there is something very important lurking on those walls. She follows me in and sits down on what has become her chair and picks up a file. I leave her to it for awhile and download the video off the SD card.  
The silence is oppressive and, for once, I don’t want that; I want her incessant chatter driving me to distraction. We continue in silence for 10 or 15 minutes till I can’t stand it any longer and I call her over to look at the video of a particularly interesting piece of wall. I can feel her nearness as she looks over my shoulder but she doesn’t touch me.  
The picture suddenly tilts and I realise that that is when the hole opened up in the floor and I dropped the camera. I suddenly have the urge to recount to Vala exactly what happened and tell her to drag her chair over, belatedly realising I should have got it for her.  
She is the picture of innocence as she looks up at me and I begin my tale, starting by telling her how important it is that we go back. She doesn’t interject much, just a few “umms” and “ahhs” as I tell my story. She looks at me with rather soulful grey brown eyes and repeats how she was worried about me.  
“Will you help me prepare a case to return to the planet?” I ask her and she nods her acquiescence to my plan. And that’s how we spend the rest of the afternoon, preparing a case for us all returning to PJX-187. Sam comes by at about 5 o’clock, announcing that she is going and taking Jack and Teal'c with her and reminding me not to get too involved with my work. I won’t, I assure her; I’m in too much trouble with Jack already! We promise to follow on in about an hour’s time.  
Despite my often reluctance to leave my work for social engagements, I do enjoy hanging out with my team mates; after all, they are basically the only friends and family I have. We all look out for each other and it’s hard to imagine life without them. I was very gratified when I saw how upset they were when I died after the Kelowna incident; don’t get me wrong, I don’t like seeing them upset but it was heartily warming to know that someone was going to miss me. Then, when I had realised that I couldn’t make as much difference as I wanted to as an ascended being and I retook human form, they welcomed me back with open arms. I miss Jack terribly these days as he spends so much time in Washington. It was bad enough when he was ‘the man’ at the SGC and didn’t come through the gate very often. Mitchell’s OK but he’s not, and never will be Jack and I hate the fact that I have upset my best friend and worried him so much, especially in the last 24 hours but I can’t help being enthusiastic, excited and passionate or as he would put it, impulsive, reckless and uncontrollable. But he loves me really! My mind comes to a halt - Does he though? And just how much?  
About 40 minutes later, Vala and I have finished and we think we have a great case to put forward at briefing tomorrow for a return to PJX-187. We walk quietly to the living quarters; I still keep a room on base even though I have my own place not too far away; I don’t care to consider if it is laziness or convenience, it just is.  
I tell Vala I’ll give her a knock in about half an hour and hit the shower and change. I spend far more time than I ever have deciding what to wear. Clothes are normally just something to cover my body so I don’t get embarrassed or upset other people. I eventually decide to pull on my best jeans and the blue T that I know my friends likes – they all say says it brings out the blue of my eyes. Can’t say I’ve ever noticed but there you go. When it’s time, I grab my leather jacket, look longingly at my laptop but decide to leave it behind, shut the door behind me and cross the hall to knock on Vala’s door. She comes to the door, looking absolutely stunning in simple but figure hugging jeans and a red strappy top. Her black hair shines and shimmers around her shoulders and, for a moment, I am speechless – this beautiful woman actually chases me. And I rebut her!! I must be mad. She turns to pick up her purse and jacket and shuts her door. I offer my arm which she takes and we head for the elevator. I eventually find my voice as the lift rises towards the surface of Cheyenne Mountain and tell her that she looks very pretty and she tells me that I brush up pretty good myself.  
My jeep starts, thank goodness. I don’t know how long it is since I moved it and went home. We chat a little on the way to Sam’s, all inconsequential. We all have a great evening; I even manage to survive the Jack O’Neill chat I get hauled away for at one point. I think he forgets that I’m mid 40’s now and that he himself trained me to be a soldier even if I’m not USAF. I can look after myself but it’s good to know he cares. He tries to ply me with wine whilst himself drinking too many beers but I want to be able to drive back to base tonight to be ready to put my case in the morning with a clear head so I refuse any – alcohol and I don’t mix too well!  
We have a great evening; everyone is relaxed, we all know each other well so no one is on edge and I find myself stealthily glancing at both Jack and Vala more than I should and much more than I normally do, admiring the curve of her backside as she bends over to examine Jack’s charred steaks on the grill and the muscles of his biceps and they ripple as he turns one of said steaks.  
Stuffed full of steak and accoutrements, chocolate dessert and plenty of my favourite coffee, Vala and I take our leave around 9. I feel a bit guilty in not offering Teal’c a lift but Mitchell’s out of it so he will have to drive him home and Teal’c loves driving. We travel back in silence but it’s not awkward and I find myself wondering if I should kiss her goodnight. She takes my arm again as we walk into the mountain, sign in and head for the elevators and it feels quite comfortable. She leans her head on my shoulder as the second lift descends then we are down and walking towards our respective quarters. As we reach her door, she tells me that she has had a lovely evening and thanks me for taking her; she plants a quick kiss on my lips and is gone. I’m rather bewildered and stand there like an idiot for at least 20 seconds then slowly I make my way back to the elevator – I can’t sleep yet and I head for my office to go over my proposals and try not to think about Vala or Jack too much.  
I didn’t sleep well last night. I am desperate to return to PJX-187 and I am sure I am going to have to fight Jack all the way. Now that we are all back though, I can’t see a problem – he could even come with us – that would be great. There is also the Vala/Jack situation constantly running through my mind; I think that may well have been what kept me awake. I know that we are not USAF but the regulations about fraternising might apply to civilians as well and do I really want to get hooked up with a space pirate? Former space pirate, I remind myself. And then, do I want to tap into what I am thinking must be my latent bisexuality and take my relationship with a certain General further than it's ever gone before? I know I'm curious but I've never felt anything like this for a man before.  
I get up soon after 6. I grab coffee and a bagel as there is nothing much else going that I fancy at the time and head to my office. If you have got the impression that I spend a great deal of my time there, you would be right. I know I can’t improve on my presentation but I read through it again anyway and check that I’ve got the right stills from the video. Then I enlarge one and start to try to translate it. It’s an odd dialect of Goa’uld, one that I have not come across before and I am not sure I am really getting the correct meanings here. It seems to talk about a weapon, like many of these temple walls do, but this seems to be a short term, disabling device that allows one army of Jaffa to quickly overcome another without loss of life. I suppose the thinking behind that is that the Goa’uld can then take over the vanquished army, offering the Jaffa service with him or her if they wish to live.  
It sounds surprisingly humane for the Goa’uld. I know we all but conquered the System Lords a few years back but we were never sure if we got Ba’al or yet another of his clones, especially considering that, after the symbiote removal ceremony that we attended (was that ever boring!), he still managed to screw up our lives by altering the timeline and I had to live a year of my life without my left leg! I don’t remember it myself but Cameron had written it all down and saved it on a flash pen. Sam was surprised that it wasn’t wiped and was very, very against us reading it but Mitchell was adamant and it doesn’t appear to have affected us in this timeline – it just read a bit like a piece of fan fiction.  
As I read further and further into the writing on the still of the wall, the urgency to go back increases – this is way too important to ignore. By the time 0800 arrives, I am more than a little agitated and very hyped up on coffee; I have had 3 or 4 mugs by now. I enter the briefing room, say “Hi” to Sam, Cameron and Teal’c and busy myself with plugging my flash pen into the PC and opening my files. Vala comes in with Jack and Colonel Reynolds moments later and, when I go to my seat, a steaming cup of coffee awaits me. I reach over to touch Vala’s arm to get her attention and smile (I’m gonna have to practice this!) and say thanks.  
General Landry joins us from his office and I start to put my case with the occasional input from Vala. I expect resistance but even Jack is listening (not a first but not far off!). The ensuing discussion is heartening and, with the proviso that we take SG3 too, we have a go – but is Jack coming too? Our gate time is 1400 so I have time for some more translating. We agree to meet at 12 for lunch and Sam, Teal’c, Cameron and Reynolds leave. Vala hovers as I collect my belongings, grabbing a few files and obviously intending to come with me back to the office; she can help with the translation and I don’t mind her company this morning. Jack is holed up with Landry, hopefully organising to come with us and keep an eye on his pet archaeologist; there I go again – I am NOT Jack’s pet anything!!  
Vala and I have spent a pleasant morning working on the translations but the more I find out about this ‘weapon’, the more worried I become about it. However, I am not sharing that at the moment else the mission might be cancelled. Vala’s just reminded me it’s nearly midday so we head out to the commissary to find Sam and Jack deep in conversation. Teal’c and Mitchell are just getting food so we join the line and I grab a sandwich and a large coffee.  
“You coming through the gate, Jack?” I say as I sit down and he answers with a huge grin. I feel good about it too; that means they’ll be ten of us with Jack in charge. The chatter goes on around me as I lean back, cradling the hot coffee mug. I think about how lucky I am to be surrounded by my surrogate family when I’m doing my job. I feel a touch on my arm and Sam is looking at me quizzically. “Where were you, Daniel?” she asks and I focus on the conversation which requires my input; they’re doing a last minute mental recognisance of the temple area and they really want my view.  
So here we all are again assembled in the gate room, ready to hit PJX-187. Jack is bouncing around obviously thrilled to be going through the Stargate once again and I am bouncing too, with anticipation and not just a little intrepidation. Anyone would think we haven’t been doing this for the last 10 years. The seventh chevron locks just as Walter announces it and we are off on another adventure. That ‘Kawoosh’ never gets old.  
As I step back on to the planet, a ripple of fear makes me shiver and Sam glances at me, raising her eyebrows, checking I am ok and I nod. Jack, Teal’c and Mitchell are all scouting the area already, as are SG3 and Vala is right behind me, giving moral support and, as usual, invading my space. I gulp and move away from the gate and start heading towards the temple.  
My apprehension increases as we near the goal. I am really wondering whether this was the right thing to do; Vala creeps up from behind and slips her arm into mine and whispers that she’s gonna be with me all the way. I turn around and smile at her and I am really glad that she is here.  
Jack and Sam have already reached the temple and he has sent Teal’c, Mitchell and SG3 around the perimeter to make sure that all is safe but he won’t let us go in yet. Once the guys return, we all carefully enter the temple and I head towards the east wall to continue the translation without touching it. Vala sits besides me and she is very helpful – it is a dialect that is similar to the one Qetesh used, the Goa’uld who lived parasitically in Vala for quite some time.  
As I translate, the feelings of trepidation disappear until I realise that I was right about the thoughts I had been having back at the SGC. This weapon that is mentioned is so dangerous. Luckily, no-one else is around. Vala is looking quizzically at me and I wonder if she is thinking what I’m thinking.  
“Let’s go for a walk,” I say and we head off out of the temple and out of earshot of our companions. I then ask Vala if she understands the implications of what we have seen. We talk about the information we have derived from the wall and it scares us both. This “weapon” sounds wonderful until you realise that not only does it disable the Jaffa (presumably through the symbiote), it appears to kill any humans who are within range. It may even kill anything that does not carry a symbiote. That’s not good and we sit in silence, contemplating what to do. I don’t want to tell anyone about it at all, I decide; Vala is unsure and, quite rightly points out that Jack is bound to realise that something is up if we “pooh pooh” the notion of this weapon or even of there being anything of importance on the wall. I put my head in my hands; if I’m not being “whumped”, I’m having to make decisions which could effect not only my friends but every human in the universe!  
I tell Vala not to say anything but that I would like to be alone for awhile. She grimaces but gets up and wanders over towards Sam who is still taking soil samples, looking for Naquadah. I hope that she has listened to me and is not confiding in Sam. Am I being unfair in expecting her to keep this secret? I DO trust her and hope that she doesn’t betray it but so often she has delved into parts of my life and attempted to delve into parts of my anatomy too, and revealed semi-secrets I would rather were kept undisclosed.  
So, what do I do? I get up and pace, walking further and further away from the temple. Can I really unleash a weapon of this magnitude on the universe? I suddenly realise how far I have wandered and turn round to head back. I can see SG3 in the distance; Colonel Reynolds is up high, overlooking the temple and he raises a hand to wave at me. Suddenly, I see Jack striding towards me and my heart sinks; I’m in trouble again!  
He reaches me quickly and we stop and stare at each other. “Daniel?” he says and I reply, as usual, “Jack?” I then comment on the fact that it is nice that he has joined me as I stretch my legs and, although I see that he grimaces, he doesn’t berate me for wandering off, alone, and we wander back to the temple together. He asks me what I have found and I try to fob him off but he’s having none of it. He is so totally aware of the fact that I was desperate to return to the temple so he knows that there is something important here. He can also read me like a book and I am well aware that I am not giving off comfortable vibes at the moment.  
We reach the temple and he motions me to sit on some fallen stones. I do as he asks, trying to relax and I look expectantly towards him; he’s the one pacing now. Eventually, he stops, looks at me and asks me what I have found. When I try to deny anything important, as Vala surmised, he just glares at me and says “Daniel?” I lower my eyes to the ground – I cannot look at him because I know how he reads my eyes and they will betray me. He sits beside me and touches my arm, repeating my name again.  
I have to look up; there is something about Jack that I cannot ignore. We connect, I don’t know why. There has rarely been two completely different people so conjoined as Jack and I and, even though we haven’t worked so closely together recently, that bond is as strong as ever. I thought we had lost it a few years ago; we constantly bickered, we ‘forgot’ to socialise and I have to admit I felt bereft; but I was too stubborn to do anything about it. My stubbornness could be the death of me.  
So I eventually look up at Jack and smile. I have a smile that indicates I’m OK and happy and I have the one that says “Help me!” – it was that one. He just asks me what he can do to help. I tell him that I don’t know yet, that I haven’t got all the facts straight in my mind and he reassures me that I have plenty of time. This is one time when I really could do without the pressure.  
We sit quietly, close enough for me to feel comforted and supported and Jack is not pushing me. Eventually, I look over at him, indicate the outside of the temple with my head and we walk back along the route I just took. I don’t know how to start this conversation; either I go in headlong or I give him the choice not to know. I decide to try the latter route first.  
“You know that there are some things that you would be better not knowing about so that you don’t have to do anything about them, don’t you?” He looks at me quizzically. “Well, this might be one of them.” And I get the usual “Daniel?”  
I stop walking and turn to him, reminding him that he is a General in the US Air Force and is bound to act on all information received. He just looks at me and tells me that, at the moment, he is just my friend, my best friend, and that is so gratifying that it hurts. I turn away; since when did I become so emotional after so few words – I know, we don’t say that enough to each other and I turn back to acknowledge his simple statement and to return the huge compliment but I also tell him that I am going to have to think this through more. He asks if Vala is aware of what is going on and I hang my head slightly but whisper “Yes, she can read the writings.”  
“Right,” he says and gives me an hour to sort out my dilemma, trying not to show that it hurts that Vala knows yet I won’t confide in him. I touch his arm, a gesture that I hope conveys the message that it is for his own good. Ours eyes lock and I am the first to look away, I desperately want to tell him. Then the moment has gone and we wander back to the temple.  
I have one hour.  
I call Vala back and we once again sit in front of the wall. I am desperate to touch it, run my figures over the grooves and ridges, looking for any nuances that may indicate that we have got this wrong, but I daren’t. Just the thought of that black space still haunts me and, although I think I know how to get out now, who knows what other traps may abound here?  
Vala leans against my shoulder using the fact that she wants to whisper in my ear as an excuse. She asks me if I have told Jack. When I answer in the negative, she asks me what I am going to do. I turn to look at her and raise my eyebrows; what are WE going to do? I fire back at her. She gives me one of those beautiful smiles, so pleased to be included in what she knows is such a difficult dilemma. We have a catch-22 situation here and I spell it out to her in an attempt to get it organised in my mind.  
We either tell Jack and he has to tell Landry, who has to tell the President and we get sent to look for this weapon, and the certainly are plenty of clues as to where it might be, or, we keep it to ourselves and use what little C4 she and I have, and try to blow it up so that no one can ever find this ghastly weapon. The pressure on my shoulder disappears; I feel surprisingly bereft but Vala just shifts round to sit cross legged in front of me and asks if I am sure that those are the only options. She can’t think of any other ideas but she thought I might have.  
I tell her that, in all honesty, I cannot let anyone get their hands on this weapon. By now I am presuming it’s something like the Ancient’s weapon that was on Dhakra, a beam that will transverse the universe. If a Goa’uld gets hold of it that will be the end of human civilisations anywhere! And if there are any Ba’al’s left, he is a prime candidate for orchestrating this destruction. There are also a lot of minor Goa’uld hiding about in the universe, often battling with the remaining priors to gain control of some of the planets out in that huge void we call space. But is it up to me to be the one who decides? I feel like I will be playing God. A benevolent one, no less, but still, do I have the right even if it will mean saving humankind?  
Vala sits patiently, watching me. I lean forward and take her hands. I want to ask her if she can stay friends with someone who professes to play God but I know I cannot put that weight on her. I glance at my watch; nearly half an hour has gone already and all I have done is formulate two diametrically opposed solutions. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Teal’c approaching. It’s no good asking him because he will just want the wall destroyed and I know that is what I want as well, but is the right thing to do?  
I can smell the coffee! We both gratefully take a mug each and, after asking if there is anything he can do and receiving a negative response, he wanders away again, presumably back to watching our six. I sip at my coffee, my head full of scenarios, my heart heavy. I do know what I must do. I must blow this lot sky high. It does not matter that it is a beautiful wall with a dialect so rare as to be so fine-looking and worthy of study, because I know that we will have to destroy all of the film, stills and notes we have. Vala reaches out and takes my free hand.  
I know Vala will support me; I suppose one of the things that I am afraid of is that I will lose SG1, my position, my friends, I may even end up in jail for a convoluted type of treason sentence and I have spent enough time as a prisoner to know I could not take that. My mind wanders to ascension – could I do it on my own having just committed such a despicable act and, anyway, would it be despicable? Would Oma help me? And do I want to leave Vala behind just when I am finally beginning to feel more comfortable with her, when I think I might just be able to reflect on the possibility of maybe having some type of relationship with her that is more than just friends? It has been so long since I let anyone in; Sarah, Sha’re, now Vala? And where do my newly discovered feelings for Jack fit into all of this?  
Vala says my name quietly with a grimace and I realise I have squeezed her hand so tightly that I am hurting her. I apologise and let go but she reaches out and takes my left hand in both of hers, telling me that she will do whatever I want and that, should it come to it, she will come with me wherever I go. We can go off world, she says; let’s just blow the wall, run for the gate and go. It sounds so tempting but I can’t leave Jack, Sam and Teal’c or even Mitchell. I love my life with the SGC.  
I realise the hour is up when Jack wanders over. He sits to our right and Sam sneaks in to our left; Teal’c and Mitchell are stood behind them.  
“I hope SG3 are alert!” I quip, since we are all in the temple. Jack just smiles. He then proceeds to tell me what the four of them are thinking. They know that the wall is bothering me and they realise that it is not the trap above which we are sitting but the content of the hieroglyphics. I try to protest but it dies on my lips as Jack lifts a finger and says “Ahht!” They know it’s the wall, otherwise I would not have sat here for hours, staring at it!  
So he tells me that there are three options here. One, they get me to tell them what is bothering me and then act accordingly; two, we all go back to Earth and forget about it or, three, we blow the place. Unfortunately, as usual, my eyes give it away and Jack whispers “How about we go with option three?”  
No one will ever know how relieved I was to hear those words. But I haven’t acknowledged them yet. Sam says my name as she puts her hand on my arm and I turn my head to look at her. She tells me that they have all agreed to do what I think best. Tears come to my eyes. What have I done to deserve friends, no family, like this? Still I cannot bring myself to share the burden but I will agree to option three. There follows a heated discussion on how to do it and make it look like an accident so SG3 do not have to be implicated. Mitchell suggests we send them back to the gate but I think that is too obvious; they will see or at least hear the explosion and know that we sent them out of the way. The best scenario we can come up with is trying to get back into the dark cube on the pretence that I have discovered that there are more instructions inside. It’s lame, but it’s all we can come up with.  
It doesn’t sit happily with me that I am dragging my five closest friends into this scenario but they are adamant and start to put the plan in progress. Jack calls for SG3 to rendezvous outside the temple in 10. He reaches over and squeezes my shoulder and I am slightly reassured. I notice that the other four have gone; Jack tells me that it is going to be OK and that maybe, one day, when we are up in Minnesota, fishing at his cabin, I will tell him what’s going on but for now, he doesn’t want to know. It’s silly but I want to give him a big hug to thank him for being so supportive but I just smile slightly and nod. You would think after all these years now that I could cope with a little physicality between friends, especially with Jack as he is so tactile with the Spacemonkey thing. I compromise and put my other hand on his shoulder and murmur “Thanks!” Embarrassing, emotional moment passes; we grin and head out to join the others.  
If Colonel Reynolds has any doubts, he keeps them to himself. Of all of the SG team commanders he, and perhaps Ferretti, are the ones who trust us for anything. He and his team start laying charges to blow the cube whilst Teal’c and Mitchell are trying to surreptitiously lay extra C4 to blow the wall. It takes a matter of minutes and we all retreat to a safe distance. I have avoided looking at any of my companions since the laying of charges began but I catch Jack’s eye as Reynolds hands him the detonator. I nod slightly, he shouts “Fire in the hole” and twice as much charge as expected, blows.  
We are all a bit stunned and stare at the rubble and dust in the air. Reynolds is first to speak, begging the General’s pardon as he seems to have over estimated the C4 requirements. Jack tries to be angry, make comments about what he will do if “Daniel’s Wall” has been destroy. I try to look upset and Vala is blabbing nonsensically at me about marines and bombs and relating it to inadequacies. Teal’c and Lieutenant Hailey are making their way back towards the temple and, as the dust is clearing, they have bad news; the wall is gone.  
I try to hide my relief. We’ve done it and there is no need for SG3 to be involved in out duplicity. We all step over the rubble and gasp to find that the floor is still intact – any secrets that were in that cube are obviously not going to be given up. The fact that I look so relieved can be put down to my previous experience in that awful place. I smile at Vala, noticing that she’s in my space, again. Wonder if that will stop if we did actually ever get it together? Or if I found that Jack and I could actually .... stop it Daniel - concentrate on the task at hand!  
Jack, ever in command, has decided that this trip is over. Without the wall, there is nothing left to do here. Sam can check her soil samples back in her lab and I have my film.  
Wait, what did I do with the Camcorder? There follows a frantic search for ten minutes and two of SG3 with Mitchell are actually trying to dig through the rubble. I left it there, at the foot of the wall and smashed it. I hope they don’t find it and, if they do, that it looks as though the damage was done in the explosion.  
“Well, on this visit, I had decided that perhaps it wasn’t as important as it had seemed before. I think my imprisonment in the cube might have been clouding my judgement,” I say.  
Jack gives the order to move out and it is with great relief we head to the Stargate. All I have to do now is “lose” the stills and minidisk back at base and we are safe. There is no way anyone would be able to obtain the information off that wall again. I smile at Vala and offer her my arm. She leans into me and it feels good but I’m still not convinced that I am ready to take the next step. I smile at Jack, offering him my other arm in jest; in jest, he takes it but the eyes tell another story as we head to the DHD, laughing and joking, Teal'c and Mitchell behind us, Sam in a similar position to me and SG3 rolling their eyes at the "antics" of the supposed premier team at the SGC! But, hopefully, we have just averted another threat to the Universe; one day I may tell them as, one day I am going to have to face that I may have to resolve another dilemma and make a choice between Jack and Vala but for now, I’m just happy to be dialling home with the ones I love.


End file.
